The annual charity romp made headlines earlier this year when the strict ‘dogs-only’ policy was overturned by a small, enigmatic court of law located deep underground in the Carron Valley, thus transforming the normally jovial, shaggy event into a carnival-cum-circle-jerk of failure and repression. Justice C.K Lynch DBE declined to make any official comment, but would later imply that he had no legal authority of any description, and that what had started out as a somewhat drawn-out joke had created a situation in which he has, to quote directly, ‘Far too much power. Far, far, far too much power’.
I did not attend the festival myself due to the restraining order Ted Milton has taken out on me and my two dachshund’s, Tristan and Isolde. As it was the buggers didn’t even pay for his bus or some shit, whatever, I remain convinced that the entire event was an ultra-contrived shambles from the get go. My Brother Terry went though and despite Ulver not making the bill, he claims to of had a lot of fun, so with that in mind, festival gets an S for ‘Shut it Down’.
Hidden in the forest somewhere is the dark art of death. Could next year be the year the dogs fight back? We can only hope so. In the mean time it’s back to the job centre boys!
– Desmond de LaDoucette